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Conquering your fear is the beginning of your wisdom

Updated: Apr 7, 2020

Fear is that crippling emotion about topics that you are not familiar with, and it can be as real and deep as you mind allows it to be. Hand in hand with love, fear is one of the two most basic motivating forces. When you are in love, you are open to all that life has to offer with passion, and when you are afraid, you pull back from life. Fear is often educated into us, and we can educate it of us. The awareness of where does the fear come from is the number one tool in conquering it.

There are 3 different fear cultures.

Aversion - An intense feeling of fear that we create to our aversions. in other words - phobias. Humans are born with two fears. These are fear of falling and loud noises. All other fears are learned at some point on our life. Spiders, snakes, and darkness, are called natural fears, developed at a young age, influenced by our environment and culture. Almost all phobias can be successfully treated and cured. Simple phobias can be treated through gradual exposure to the object, animal, place or situation that causes fear and anxiety.

Scarcity - The fear of limited availability, You become overly competitive and feel that you never have enough. Whether it’s money, food, emotions or something else entirely. Instead of believing that you have enough, and there is plenty to go around, you cling to everything you have out of fear of coming up short. Scarcity thinking often causes overspending, usually because you want to keep up with others. You let envy guide your decisions, causing huge bills. Don’t compare yourself to others; they may be overspending as well. The scarcity mindset leads to jealousy not only in the material sense, but also in feelings of inadequacy or competition when others have success. To improve your own outlook, acknowledge the success of others and applaud their achievements. They may just inspire you to improve your own situation.

Worthiness - This is when we feel that we are not good enough. Self acceptance becomes conditional in overcoming this type of fear. If you have ever question your worthiness you may be familiar with: “Who am I to...”, I am just a…”, How could I possibly…” Maybe when I.. then I can…” A lack of worthiness feels like shame, anger, guilt, worry, disappointments. This painful feelings paralyze you and stop you from growing.

Fears trigger flight or fight and responses. There is another principle that sits alongside there which is freeze. Freezing is the bunny in a headlights of a car situation. Doesn't know whether to run or stay, seems flummox and it's brain stops working. All those principles of fear affect our decision making process and creativity. Our body actually doesn’t know how to distinguish from fear - which is an immediate danger, and anxiety with is perceived as imminent threat. Those conditions, signal our body to go into a stress response. This stress response increases inflammation in the body, slows our ability to properly digest our food, makes it more difficult for us to think clearly among so many other negative side effects. This can actually prevent you from achieving your desired outcomes because we become preoccupied with peripheral symptoms.

Now... how do you conquer those fears?

Be playful and approach fear from a different mindset. Long ago, the depth psychologist Carl Jung explained that “what you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” And today this viewpoint is generally abbreviated to “what you resist persists,” with many paradoxical variants, such as, “You always get what you resist.” It is just another way of saying "Don't focus on what you don't want." Because when you are resisting things you don't like that's EXACTLY what you are doing - FOCUSING on what you DON'T WANT!

Try positive, creative visualization. Understand your fear and face it. Is it your reality or you blowing it out of the proportions? We all have experienced fears at some point in our lives. Get familiar with the stories of your heroes and sheroes. Ask for help, and always go back to your WHY. If you remember the reason behind your WHY, you will always move forward. Why are you doing what you doing. Why is it important to you. Write it down and stick it on your mirror if you have to.

Control you energy and be enthusiastic about the things that move you forward and help you grow. Even if it’s something small. Remember that everything is in your hands and you have the power to change your life. Be adaptable to those changes and know that if life throws obstacles at you, you can go around them instead of cutting through them all the time. Some of your goals may seem unreachable at this moment but you need to find out what are you willing to do to overcome any obstacle that comes your way to make your dreams happen. If we constantly tell ourselves that we can’t do something or can’t achieve something and can’t solve something, doesn’t mean that you will not be able to do this in the future. You can’t do it YET, but you can learn it and master just about anything you want. Think what do you need to know to be able to accomplish something, what resources you need, who would be able to help you.

If you catch yourself in certain environment that scares you, just pay attention to your breathing, your body, your thoughts and change that into more positive reality. When you force yourself to face any fear-inducing situation in your life, your self-esteem goes up, your self-respect increases, and your sense of personal pride grows.

You eventually reach the point in life where you are not afraid of anything. You become unstoppable.

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