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Designing Life

Updated: Sep 10, 2020

A common myth about coaches is that coaches have all their shit together - Bullshit.

We don't have all the answers, and in fact, nobody does, what we are good at is finding the right ones. A lot of people ask me what do life coaches do, and sometimes, I can sense a touch of irony in their question. One of my friends even threw an insult in my face that while I am claiming to help people leading happier lives, I actually scam them for money, because I cannot possibly know what others really need. I decided not to comment on that statement to avoid a pointless argument and just listened to him vent. I am not here to change anyone's opinion if they don’t want me to.

My answer is always the same - Coaches try to make sense out of life. Then I get off course more questions from Mr. or Mrs. Know Everything, "So what qualifies you to make sense of other people's lives?". Well, the answer here is pretty simple. Just as it takes a certain type of person to sell cars, only certain types become neurosurgeons, it also takes a certain type of person to become a life coach. Truth is anyone can become a facilitator, but not everyone will have the same passion and dedication. Not everyone wants or is able to create a special connection with a client that allows them to understand even the unspoken language. ( body language and facial expressions). After this bond or connection is established, only then a coach can begin to start working with a client on the ultimate design of their life, and it doesn’t come without an effort from the client. One needs to be equally involved.

Every individual is different. We all come with a unique set of dreams, priorities, setbacks, and backgrounds that play a significant role. The perfect life is to be found in the belief that we all come to Earth with a unique set of purpose and mission to fill. Most people who hire a Life Coach need help in discovering that mission. Another perception floating is that life coaches help people to reach their goals. Well, yes… but… Setting goals in modern society can be extremely difficult. We are trying to set goals that are pushed on us from the outside instead of coming from the place of our own heart and gut feeling. It starts from our parents and friends, and later in life is dictated by religion, politicians, advertising, and computer algorithms. Google, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook decide for us who we want to be and what we should buy next. You see that incredible wealth on social media but you don’t realize that money can actually mess you up if you don’t have a firm grip about what life is truly all about. I have seen first hand what money does to people and how it destroys lives. It happened to me too. I was a victim of wealth. One needs to think about priorities, recognize the remarkable things that life has to offer. You need to think about the relationships you have with other people, your health, your body. I know plenty of very wealthy people my age, who look 20 years older than me.

Whatever we learn at school is very important because without that education we would never learn how to use certain parts of our brain, but if you are in your late 20's or 30's, what do you really remember from High School? I am in my 40's, and to be honest, I have no recollection of any classes in High School whatsoever. Things that I remember have nothing to do with education. The only thing that was firmly embedded in my mind is how to be able to count how much money I need in my bank account and what title I need to achieve in my career to be respected as a human. This is really sad, and the number one reason why so many people lead miserable lives. At times I think that with my soft personality and genuine good intentions I don't belong in the 21st century. But here I am, and to make the best of it, I have become a life coach, who is trying to give to the community as much as I can. Making people understand that goal setting is a bullshit idea educated into us, and life should be designed holistically within your own framework. My mission is to disrupt your idea of life. Despite being a general though, life doesn’t have to be hard, relationships are not difficult, and love doesn't hurt. The fundamental key to designing your own life around abundance and happiness is learning how to trust your whole body instead of using only your head. Identifying life with thoughts is an unsupportive habit given they seem real because you experience them. To make it even crazier, know that 95% of our thoughts are not true. Thoughts emerge from consciousness and slip away as easily as they appear. Your body communicates with you all the time. We just have to know how to listen. I have explained this process more in one of my previous articles: The Power of Communication and I encourage you to take a few minutes of your time to read it.

Years ago I went through some personal traumatic events that have caused a condition called agoraphobia. It is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear places that can cause you panic attacks. In my case, every place caused that panic. Work, grocery stores, subways, doctors' office or just being out on the streets. Living in NYC at that time didn’t help at all. I was basically homebound. Going outside caused physical sickness. When I had to go somewhere I was getting a fever, I was nauseous, had fainting spells, you name it. It was like standing on the edge of a very scary place.

I started working on myself and my personal development. I was painting, meditating, using reiki, and some light physical exercise. I started to question and replace all my negative feelings with more positive ones. I was making notes of the ideas I had for my life and I wanted to create them.

People tend to just mindlessly walk this earth and follow orders. Only very few have a vision and created a direction for themselves. If you don’t have that clear vision, you are in danger being swept out and unknowingly become a part of someone else's vision and you will never end up in that beautiful place that you could.

Do you have a goal in life? What is it? I bet it is a financial goal or a place you want to be in your career. What about other areas in your life. Your fitness, spirituality, your relationships. Would you like to be a good spouse, parent, or know how to take care of your emotional wellbeing?

You think you have it all, but what if you get sick or you end up getting a divorce? If you fail in one area I assure you, your whole life can go into shit very quickly. It is possible to have it all. It requires discipline and a tremendous amount of consciousness about knowing who you are. This is the only way for you to know what you want and where you want to be. Most people arrive at life and float there because it is comfortable, instead of taking the steer and drive that boat.

Even though I thought that I don’t belong in the 21stcentury, I am glad to be here. I have traveled the world looking for my place and I finally found it. It wasn’t a country or town that I needed to live in, It wasn’t the people that I’ve searched for to be happy. It was there all along. Deep in my heart, and my journey helped me find it. I am exactly where I belong and I became a coach for a reason. I have so much to share and so much to give. There is a myth about coaches that we have all the shit together. Bullshit. A Life Coach doesn’t know all the answers. But we are pretty good about finding the right ones.

This is my Vision. What is yours?

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