This article is dedicated to my two daughters and I hope it will influence other young women out there who are strong and work hard, but deep down, doubt their abilities because of some tiny little imperfections they perceive.
Coaching is a passion of mine. While I hold a full-time position as CPO, I continue to coach those who seek coaching, and by writing, I share my observations with the public to provide a more positive vision of the increasingly more difficult world we live in. It is, however, a world from my own perspective. My world is most likely idealistic, in which we all help each other and live in peace with each other, surrounded by nature. Even if the existence of such a world is possible only in our minds and dreams. Once we let it into our consciousness, we can actually create it.
Consciousness does not receive enough credit. The attainment of higher states of awareness can significantly impact the quality of life and the environment in which we live. A lot of people are working on understanding consciousness in many different areas of study. This is because we’re trying to understand the very first thing that drives the wheels of eternity. Consciousness is an emerging, rapidly evolving, highly interdisciplinary field that includes psychology, philosophy, physics, sociology, religion, dynamic systems, mathematics, computer science, neuroscience, art, biology, cognitive science, anthropology, and linguistics. It is the core of universal life, which I find fascinating.
Consciousness is not today's subject but I thought it was worth mentioning because strong positive consciousness is crucial for personal growth. In order to achieve our full potential, it is important to know our natural skills and pursue them instead of stressing about what we are not naturally made for.
My position in HR has exposed me to a wide range of professional issues. I would like to address one that is most obvious to me and yet should be brought to everyone's attention. I have been fortunate to work with an amazing team at Kenja KK, a global technology company focused on visual trust layers. Professionally, I have observed that men and women achieve success in a professional setting in different ways.
The focus of women is perfection, whereas, for men, the paramount importance is bravery. It is because girls are typically expected to look nice, smile pretty, play it safe, get good grades, and avoid failure at all costs.
We can't be scared of failure and mistakes, If a person can learn in any situation, even failure, they can become successful. There is no chance of getting noticed in Silicon Valley unless you have at least two failed startups under your belt. This analogy applies to personal life as well. It is commonly believed that boys play rough, swing high, climb to the top of the monkey bar, and then jump off... head first. When they become adults, whether they are negotiating a raise or asking someone out on a date, they have become habituated to taking risks. As a result, they receive a reward.
However, girls tend to think that they need to work twice as hard in order to even be noticed at work. In reality, girls are genuinely twice as diligent because they are not allowed to make mistakes or fail. We are raising our boys to be brave, and our girls to be perfect. In general, women are less likely than men to be represented in high executive positions, Congress, and pretty much anywhere else.
During the 1980s, psychologist Carol Dweck studied how students handle difficult assignments. The study found that bright girls were quick to give up, and the higher their IQ, the more likely they were to give up. I need to add that I don’t see anything wrong with giving up when you know you’ve found yourself on the wrong path.
In contrast, bright boys found the difficult material to be a challenge. The results of studies show that, at the fifth-grade level, girls outperform boys in all subjects, including mathematics and science. Therefore, it is not a question of ability. In essence, it is about how boys and girls approach challenges. This does not end with the fifth grade. It has been reported that men would apply for a job if they met 50% of the qualifications, while women would only apply if they met 100%. According to this study, women need a little bit more confidence. The problem with women, however, is that they have been raised to aspire to perfection and are excessively cautious. Our striving for perfection has led us to take fewer risks in our careers, even when we are ambitious. With 11 million jobs currently available, women are left behind and as a result, our economy is missing out on all the innovation that women are capable of if they were socialized to be more courageous.
A pattern emerges as I speak with both a man and a woman. In challenging situations, men typically tell me that there is something wrong at work and it needs to be corrected, while women generally tell me that there is something wrong with them…
It is important for girls to understand that they are not alone in their struggles. We live in a broken system and there is nothing wrong with you. Women have told me that they are afraid to ask questions for fear of being perceived as the only ones who do not understand. It is for this reason that we should build a supportive network, cheering on our girls so that we may build incredible things.
This is something I see every day. Our girls must be socialized to be comfortable with imperfection, and we need to begin this process as soon as possible. It is imperative that we teach them to be brave at school and early in their careers when it has the greatest potential to impact both their lives and those of others. Our goal should be to show them that they will be accepted not for being perfect, but for being courageous. Therefore, I would like to urge any individual who has read this article to tell at least one young woman you know (a sister, a niece, a colleague, an employee, a coworker) - to be comfortable with imperfection, because we can build a movement of young women who are brave, and who will build a better world for themselves and for everyone around them, if we teach girls to accept and value their unique imperfections. A basic principle of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Pure beauty lies in imperfection, as perfection... is never authentic
