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Unstuck Yourself

Feeling stuck is that aching sensation of the inability to move forward. A dear in the headlight situation where every action seems risky or impossible - you are frozen.

Despite having their basic needs met, many people feel trapped by aspects of their lives: trapped in an unhappy relationship, in an unfulfilling job, or generally unhappy with their lives. No matter the reason - it causes a consuming feeling that wraps around you like a wet blanket.

Depression, for example, prevents people from turning their attention from bad thoughts. This can lead to psychological disorders. Take agoraphobia for instance - an anxiety disorder in which you stay away from situations that make you feel helpless, hopeless, or embarrassed, which causes you to panic. Consequently, we isolate ourselves from these situations and we build tall emotional walls, leaving others outside. The problem is that we learn to live in that bubble because it’s safe there. We aren't trying anything new, nor are we exposing ourselves to failure. It’s dangerous to get stuck in this mindset, but just the thought of taking action makes you sweat bullets.

Being stuck is a sensation that takes a hold of us with such an intensity and such a length of time that it starts to feel normal. We start to define ourselves according to our experiences of being stuck. There is a ton of lonely people in the world, and even though they are sad, they adapt to that loneliness by creating a bubble they secretly wish to escape but aren’t able to. As a result, they become more distant from other people. When they find themselves completely alone, their depression is almost always severe enough to require professional intervention.

Escape from your mind's prison requires a journey that is difficult to complete on your own. Your mind is the toughest prison to break out of. It felt selfish keeping my own experiences to myself once I had learned to break free. It was that reason that led me to become a coach. Unstucking involves the following four steps:

  1. Self awareness

  2. Letting go

  3. Take new risks

  4. Change your habits

To overcome that draining feeling, you need to identify and understand where it comes from. Examine your life and figure out what keeps you from growing. Determine what is holding you back both in personal and professional spheres. Question your current reality and discover why you or your business isn’t growing. Is it you, is it your business, is it the structure, the strategy, or the people you partnered with professionally or personally? in order to get unstuck, you need this understanding.

This next step is the most challenging because it requires you to let go of your obstacles. There is a certain amount of fear involved because the future feels risky without the things we're used to. Somehow, we're drawn to holding onto our shit. Taking a step back to evaluate yourself or your business, identify what isn't working, and then let it go can be tough. But you need to make this decision if you intend to move forward. You'll also need to take new actions that might seem risky at first, because we're stepping into uncharted waters. The human instinct to avoid the unknown is strong. Childhood curiosity gives way to fear as we age. Even so, not every unfamiliar experience is bad.

I’m not advocating abandoning existing relationships and businesses. Just get rid of the things that hold you back. For example, if you are in business and your e-mail marketing isn't working, try content marketing, blogging, or Instagram. In addition to gaining momentum, you will also be able to identify what works best for you as you try new things.

If you already tried the above but still feel you cannot move forward, consider changing the way you approach things. If you follow a routine, you might want to change it up a bit. The present is often viewed through the same lens as the past. We can try to observe it from a different perspective, but it won't work due to our daily habits and routines. As life only flows in a certain way, we may feel stuck and need to change the flow a little. Different approaches work for different people when it comes to breaking a routine. Some people quit cold turkey, while others need time to adjust to a new schedule. The process is like replacing puzzle pieces, and once you see that it's working, you're ready for the next one.

Let me give you an example of a very simple way to change up our morning routine.

Often, wake-up rituals include sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment trying to force ourselves to open our eyes, or checking our phones to see who texted overnight or what’s new on social media. We usually jump right into the shower when we realize what time it is, or grab a very strong cup of coffee instead. Our bodies do not get stretched properly after waking up. By stretching first thing in the morning, you can help release any tension or pain from the night before. Your body is also prepared for the day ahead by increasing blood flow. Although my cats and dog know this, humans, for some reason, don’t realize how important it is. You are more likely to experience muscle pain and tightness if you do not stretch. Many people after 40 feel their joints quite stiff and painful first thing in the morning. That’s because without regular stretching, your muscles become stiff and cold. Eventually, your muscles will pull on your joints, causing significant pain and discomfort. Consequently, we are tired and after a while, simply blame it on our age.

Whether or not you decide to try it, I assure you that after a short time you will realize how your body will become more elastic, especially in the morning.

Unstucking yourself can completely change your life. Paying attention to your experiences is a skill just like riding a bike. The more we practice, the better we get at it. It can increase our tolerance to sudden changes and improve relations with other people. Your purpose will become clearer and you will believe in yourself again. By owning who you fully are, you will no longer experience fear and the feeling of being... STUCK.

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